EMPOWER Malaysia organised a writing competition to encourage the wider public to "Break the Silence", for themselves & others. This is one of the top entries, written by Rheanne Wong.
This poem speaks to a male child who grew up with an abusive father. Breaking the silence, sometimes means coming out of the narrative that has been rehashed to survivors – telling who they are, who they’ll be, and what they’re worth. In some sense, this is a letter to my brother. Sometimes the community cannot help but self-fulfill the prophecy of ‘like father, like son,’ for the child. So this is a letter of comfort, and reassurance, that they are not defined by what happened to them.
“To all the boys, you are not your abusive father.” - Rheanne Wong
We gripped our forks,
he gripped our baby sister,
temper, temper, temper
you are acting like your father.
You fight in school,
he fought at home,
temper, temper, temper
you are just like your father.
You chase clouds for clout,
he sold the house for a car,
temper, temper, temper
you speak just like your father.
You grow up, a man -
he grew old, regretful
tender, tender, tender
you are not your father.
You care and stay,
he stopped and left,
tender, tender, tender
you are not your father.
You speak in dignified candour,
he coerced like a foolish jester,
tender, tender, tender
you will not be your father.
If I should be so brave to tell you,
he happened to us, not because of us -
tender, tender, tender
you can be the better man,
because you are not your father.
You were never your father.
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