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The First Thing That Comes to Mind

EMPOWER Malaysia organised a writing competition for aspiring writers with the theme “YOUth of Tomorrow”. This is one of the top entries in the poems category, written by Arathi J Reddy.


Waterfall in the forest, an image used for a poem The First Thing That Comes to Mind by Arathi J Reddy
Image Descritption: In a mountainous terrain, there is a waterfall on the left side of the photo, and a lush, green forest around it


When I think about being a girl, the first thing that comes to my mind is not the word ‘difficult’ no… I don’t think of the wage gap, do not think of being taken advantage of, do not think of competition-- I don’t think of that at all.


When I think about being a girl, the first thing that comes to my mind is transparency. I think of being unafraid to voice our feelings regardless of how lame and cheesy they might be because we all know that communicating and feeling ‘too much’ is the main deal about human, I think about


Wired bras. And while yes, it is difficult, I think of how a garment of clothing is made to support us, to protect us and how beautiful that is and of course


There are times where I want to burn every single one I have but in the end I love my bras I love my bras I love my


Pads. I remember this one time when I was 12, crying to my 15-year-old cousin, ‘periods are so gross, blood coming out of you just like that’ she told me no, taping my lips back shut. sometimes you need to stop talking, sometimes to be understood, you need to understand first. She told me-


periods are our body’s way of taking care of ourselves, of


cleansing ourselves, of


loving ourselves.


I think of how our bodies, our bodies, our bodies,


petite or broad shoulders, pear-shaped, hourglass, triangle-shaped, can hold life. And then I think of what a great honour bleeding every single month is for that.


When I think about being a girl, I think about how this world is constructed to tear us apart so that we can learn that being real, speaking truth, is how we piece the fragments of ourselves back together, gluing every single inch, becoming stronger every day.


That to fight for ourselves is the best gift because the only other person besides GOD that we will always have is us


Us


Us


Us.


Me, me, me. Arathi.


I will always have you. So I need to talk to me, I need to find a friend in me, I need to fight for me and all the same, fight for you, fight for us.


We need to fight for each other, hold up each other’s ribcages strong when the pressure of the patriarchy tries to crumble the dignity in our bones into dusts so I start by


Sitting in front of my mirror and pulling my knees in. Kiss my shoulders, kiss the braille across my upper thigh, writings in gold.


Plant seeds in every hair follicle on my body. above my lips, under my chin, under my arms, I am no longer


Ashamed. I am proud. Tell myself-- I am one girl. Sometimes an emotional wreck, sometimes too empathetic. A solo train ride. I am an F on a borang, I am not as physically strong but trying to be, I am powerful because I use my words use my


Thoughts my


Vulnerability, sensitivity


these are my strengths, that help me


Connect


Empower


build


And love, love,


And love.


When I think about being a girl… I think of how we are so much more than a proof to a point. We are so much more than a piece of evidence, much more than another statistic, another


Justification, another box, another label, another rule, another word we are


Collections of letters-


Incomprehensible. Uncontainable. More than a poem, we are girls.


Dancing


Hiking


Teaching,


Fixing,


Plumbing,


Working SO hard.


sometimes, not talking


sometimes, just listening.


Sometimes dresses,


Sometimes jeans


Sometimes, stay-at-home,


Sometimes, working,


Not always pretty,


Not always smiling


Not always crying


Nor always ‘staying strong.’


Sometimes or all the time, rbf.


Not always makeup, maybe some wing for confidence


not trying to impress anyone, though


Just trying to figure it out, trying to figure me out, just trying to be better, just trying

to grow.

When I think about being a girl, more than anything, I think of how much potential we are.


We are jars, buckets, waterfalls of potential.

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